There's Room for You At the Table

I think I've mentioned it before but I've loved the Come, Follow Me for individuals and families study manual. It's been so enlightening for my individual study. This week again hit home some things that I kind of forgot about.

In Luke 14, it teaches about the parable of the supper. The man invites all these people to come but they can't make it. Then he tells his servants to bring the blind and the lame and how there was room enough for them.

I love listening to "Don't Miss This" videos each week for my study. When they were talking about this parable, they said this parable is all about those who feel like they are in the margins. And how there is room for you at the table. That last line was exactly the same thing that the Spirit whispered to me in October 2016.

We were living in Moscow and were in our new ward for about 6 months. I was starting to play basketball which helped to open up new friendships but there was still something that I felt nagging that I 'lacked': I didn't have any kids. And I didn't feel like I could relate or be real friends with anyone because it was almost like 'what is there else to talk about.' And in a church culture where it's focused on, it can be lonely and awkward at times.

One week in October I was feeling the anxiety of where do we fit in if we don't have kids? How can we fit in as a couple? How can we belong here? It was something that was pressing on my mind a lot because I knew in just a few short days, we would be talking to an OB/GYN about tests for fertility.

So many unknowns. But I also have to say, looking back, I'm so proud of myself for doing something that is hard. Making that call and then waiting 6 weeks out to see someone is scary. No doubt about it.

Two days before this appointment, we had a ward fundraiser where it was dinner and a show put on by our youth to raise funds for camp and high adventure. There was a silent auction in the back which is where we were hanging out when we first got there. Then my new friend, Wendy, from basketball comes over and says, 'hey, are you guys sitting anywhere because you can come and sit at our table.'

Now, Wendy had no idea my upcoming appointment and knew nothing of what I was feeling that week. She's a spiritual gal so maybe she was prompted but I also know that's the type of person she is, but either way, it was a true tender mercy. It was the smallest thing really. But here she was, inviting us plus an older lady in the ward to come sit at her table with her and her fun loving family.

That's when the Spirit whispered the answer that I needed that week, "there's room for you at the table. Room for you at church, in your ward, in your family." And sometimes it's getting inviting to an actual table to realize that and other times it's just pulling up a figurative chair and making room for yourself even when you feel like there's not enough room.

As it happened, Wendy was conducting the primary children the next morning in the primary program at church. The last song the kids sang was an original from Kamie Jacobs Bolen called "Press Forward" and I loved it so much that I found the sample of the song on her website and had it playing on repeat the morning of our appointment. It helped calm my nerves.

The whole experience was another testament of God's tender mercies and He answers in ways we did not expect and through other people.

So here's to all of us in the margins at some point in our lives and still finding room for us and others at the table. Because really, there is always enough.

JJ Heller also sings about this very thing. :)