What A Difference A Year Can Make

I'm starting to write this in early November but it probably won't be published till December.

So back in February I wrote this post in response to a lot of frustration I was feeling about my life in general. And I received so much good feedback and advice that I needed to hear. It was exactly what I needed so thank you!

To back it up even further, a few months prior to that post, I was generating a lot of resentment to God, to some people, and to myself. I was in a selfish mode of "why, why, why" with what was and wasn't happening in my life. I was a mess for sure.

But to where I am now is like night and day difference. I'm still a work in progress but to be able to come to some peace with my life is amazing.

Here are some thoughts that I've tried on that have helped me to get where I'm at. Again, still have a ways to go and it's a never ending process but here are some thoughts that have really stuck with me. 

-What other people think about me is none of my business.

-I allow people to be wrong about me. I know people will judge me so I just allow them to because they will be wrong about me.

-Everything that has happened in the past is exactly how it should have gone.

-I can figure this out. Things are figure-out-able.

-I can find fulfillment and purpose in my life right now. I don't need to wait for a circumstance to change that.

-The universe is constantly conspiring in my favor.

I know I've mentioned Bold New Mom a little bit in the last few months around here but thanks to my sister, Alice-Anne, for introducing it to me, it's become a real eye opener to me about how much my thoughts affect everything in my life. I kind of thought life coaching was weird but in some ways it just feels like therapy minus the diving into your childhood part. :)

So I'm in her coaching program and she has what she calls "ask Jody" section and it's anonymous and you can ask anything you want to her and she responds. Some people have started sharing success stories so I thought I would too. Here's what I wrote.

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Jody, I wanted to share a little success story I’ve had in the last couple of months.

I’ve held on to this belief that my source of joy and true fulfillment was to be a wife and mother. But motherhood didn’t come as readily as I hoped and there were some barriers in the way that made it difficult for a few years. Since being in your program, you coached a girl who was in a similar situation of just wanting to be a mom and you asked her the question, “if you got to be a mom, what would you feel then?” Her answer was very similar to the one I would have said, “that I would be fulfilled and happy and purposeful.” And you asked, “why can’t you feel that right now?” My husband and I were both listening to the call and I was like ‘woah, that’s what I needed to hear.’ I was kind of putting my life on hold for this magical day of motherhood to happen and I was kind of resentful that it wasn’t happening when I wanted it to. I was resentful to other family members who had no problem getting pregnant and a little resentful towards God.

But hearing that call and so many other insights that you have shared, it’s all stuck with me and I’m constantly trying on these thoughts and solidify them in my brain. I started to think of my life as purposeful and fulfilling and that I could still find so much joy in my life. I remember one night making pizza and waiting for my husband to come home and thinking “man, I love my life.” It was so empowering and I would say a spirit filled feeling. I did feel joy and that feeling had stayed with me probably because I was starting to see evidence of that in my life. Well crazy thing is I ended up getting pregnant not long after and I know that getting pregnant just added to my joy that I was already experiencing. And the timing was perfect. The whole journey was EXACTLY how it was supposed to go. It was such a peaceful feeling.

I know that my mind wanted to say, “well if you tell this story to your family and close friends, they probably won’t believe you because you had such negative feelings about it before” but it’s not their job to understand, right? They don’t have to believe it and I’m good with that.

Thanks Jody for your coaching and doing what you do. My baby is due right before my year membership is up so that might be the perfect time to renew it because I’ll sure need more help. 🙂 Thank you again!

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Yep, that's right. Baby Doutre due on June 24th. We are so excited! (I will share more of my thoughts in another post of my feelings just before I found out I was expecting and some tender mercies that went along with that but just wanted to share this first!)