Are All Problems Created by Our Thoughts?

I've been in Jody's program for 18 months and I still get new, or not so new, information that resonates and finally sticks.

I was listening to an elite member coaching call about a lady who had two children and was thinking about trying for a third one but she had some drama about it. Both of her previous pregnancies were really easy so she is worried that this one will be different, specifically that it will be hard and challenging. She's also seen family and friends who have had complications with their pregnancies recently and she thinks that because her life is going so smooth that now it's her turn to go through the hard stuff. 

But Jody pointed out that her life is going so smooth right now because she's made it that way. Not what's going on or not going on in her life. ALL challenges, problems, hard things in life are because we think they are problems. It's all from our thoughts. She told her that those family and friends have certain thoughts that make their situation a problem. Which is fine (and sometimes you want to have those thoughts for various reasons) and it doesn't diminish what they're going through but her client could have the same thing happen to her and she could think of it totally different.

And it's totally possible that this client could have something happen with this pregnancy that will be challenging than the other ones but she'll deal with it when it comes. And she can totally handle it. She can think of it in a different way than one of the brain's default of 'this is not how my life was supposed to go.' 

Two instances I've been thinking about that relates to this situation. Dallin has been an 'easy' baby but when I describe certain things he is or isn't doing to other people they have a different reaction to like 'wow, that must be hard.' See? Circumstances are neutral. The problems are created by the thoughts we have about them. I'm telling myself this while my baby is going through teething fits right now. :)

Or when they find out how easy he is they say, 'just wait till you have the next one.' Guys, I totally get it can be completely different. But why can't I decide to be up for it. All of it. And why worry now when that does me no good for the future? I'll deal with it when it comes. 

The other example that has been on my mind a lot with this scenario is my wisdom teeth. I recently saw the oral surgeon for a consultation and let's just say there is a lot of unknown about what could happen with my bottom teeth. This is like the perfect scenario to help me manage my mind around decision making and worry about the future. Two things my brain is very good about focusing on, which ironically keeps me stuck. 

The top for sure will come out. I'm 'old' for wisdom teeth age so the longer I wait, the harder the recovery. And because of my old age, the bottom teeth are more connected to the nerve which will bring almost certainty of numbness to the bottom lip/chin area, either temporary or permanent. Right now, the bottom teeth aren't necessarily a problem because they don't have cavities and such but if they did develop a cavity, I would need to get it out plus the tooth next to it. 

I'm pretty certain I just want the top two out and wait on the bottom teeth. If I was able to not develop cavities down there from 6 years of not seeing a dentist, I'm hopeful that I can keep it that way, especially since I'm taking way better care of my teeth than before. 

Now, do I know that there is a chance I would need to get further surgery in the future? Absolutely. But then I would deal with it IN THE MOMENT. We can always handle what's right in front of us. What's more scary is the future. What could happen. But worrying about it doesn't prevent it from happening and sometimes it never does. So why feel terrible about it right now? 

An example of this was in Moscow we found out that our lease was up and we needed to move out of our apartment because we didn't renew it in time. We had so many people tell us that moving to a specific apartment when we didn't have a full time job was a bad idea and they gave us all these scenarios of what could go wrong. I was in a blockage and wrote my situation to Jody on her platform. This was her response:

"The timing of the apartment and the job is going to work out perfectly. 

Isn’t that a relief? 

You’re welcome. 

When people invite me to worry about things in the future that I couldn’t possibly predict I politely decline by believing the opposite of what they’re telling me to worry about. And guess what…. it always works. The future ALWAYS works out. Sometimes not in the way I expected but it always does and I keep all the power over creating my future, dealing with challenges and it’s the best way to live. 

Another thought I would be having if I were you is, “It might be hard for most people to get out of a contract but not me. I’m not most people. I will make it happen if necessary.” 

The invitation to worry comes from the right place but it’s still not necessary or useful. I would like to invite you to not worry one bit."

And you know what, it did work out perfectly. Almost too perfectly. We put up our contract for sale and had so many people ask to come look at it. And we had someone take over it two days before we needed to leave. And we got our whole deposit back. Amazing, right? 

I am continuously working on my thoughts and it's never a done deal but getting some of these concepts to stick has been so good for me. 

What's worked for you lately? 

*I write these blogs for the purpose to help me flesh out my thoughts on what I'm learning. If you don't agree with anything here, by all means, throw them out. We get to believe whatever we want and these thoughts just serve me best. But I totally understand that they're not for everyone. :)